About

It is not my dream but somebody else’s that I have to participate in. What happens when the one who dreamt us wakes up and feels ashamed?

My generation has been encouraged to not settle down, keep looking, keep reading, moving, wandering, wondering. I’ve grown up surrounded by choices so abundant that they reached beyond privilege into perversion. There was always a lot of things to do, a lot of things to become, a lot of decisions to make and they had to be made. Our lives had to stay on the hedonic and satisfaction treadmills; getting off was taboo.

At the outset, the excuse was freedom: technology, neoliberalism and consumerism had allowed humankind to break many shackles of the past and do whatever we’ve always wanted to do. But what we’ve always wanted to is go for a swim in the filthiest waters of what it means to be human with the full support of society, government and the morals of the time. Mark Manson, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck:

Because there’s an infinite number of things we can now see or know, there are also an infinite number of ways we can discover that we don’t measure up, that we’re not good enough, that things aren’t as great as they could be. And this rips us apart inside.

Values that had always straddled context were being forced to pick a side, and if they didn’t, we chose for them. “Settle down” and “accept your limitations” went from wisdom to admonishment. Slowly but surely, it was no longer an option to sample life’s pleasures, pick one and just run with it. It was a requirement. And just like that, neoliberalism came with FOMO, FOMO with depression, depression with words, and words – thankfully – with peace.

Why do you love words so?
They were the first beautiful thing I ever knew.

I have been blogging my words since January 2008. This space used to be on Posterous. Twitter’s decision to close down that platform is something I haven’t really overcome; Posterous was perfect! Anyway, I’m on Ghost now. It’s possible I might move if a better option comes along (more here); in the meantime, you can stay tuned to my writings via Zapier, Mailchimp and Twitter.

The words right at the top are from Shame by Ingmar Bergman. The words about words are from Richard Flanaghan, The Narrow Road to the Deep North. The words in between are borrowed.

My name is Vasudevan Mukunth. I’m a 30-year-old dude from/in Chennai, India. Contact: @1amnerd.

Serotonergic will focus on my interests (in decreasing order of obsession): high-energy physics, materials science, spaceflight, digital media, media ethics, business of journalism, Tamil cinema, Dungeons & Dragons, product development, IaaS, military history, Left politics, and death, extreme and industrial metal music.

Credits: KnownHost and Bangalore.